Bridal Shower Weddiquette

I need your help, hive!

See, Foxy Mama has taken the initiative to email my bridesladies, namely my two maids of honor (more on that later) about starting to think about my bridal shower. Part of the reason for the advance thinking is simple: I have friends and family spread up and down the east coast. Close friends and family. In my bridal party alone, one is on Long Island, two are in Philly, and two are in DC. Lord knows if they will ever actually all be together in one place before the wedding itself.

Image via The Tizona Group

Needless to say, the decision of where to even have the shower is very pertinent, as planning can't begin until that is decided. Ideally, I'd like it to be in New York - it's where I grew up, it will always be home, it's my ideal city. However, that would require the majority of people traveling a long(ish) distance (especially with traffic), and I just don't see that realistically happening. Practically speaking, it should be in DC. You know, the one city where neither of my two maids of honor (or mom) live.

I know it's not a big deal in the long run, but small things like this seem to matter more than they should sometimes. I would just love a nice, fun bridal shower with my friends and family. End of story. But I have no idea how this stuff happens or how it works. Seriously.

Am I supposed to have any say in this? Does my mom take care of it? Do the bridesladies? Most important: who pays? (Foxy Mama would like to know the answer to that as well.) I need your help! Tell me everything you know about your experiences and bridal shower "etiquette," please. Or I'll be forced to give you the sad kitty eyes.

Image via Ebay

Checkity check

It is unbelievable to me that we are almost at the one year mark until our wedding! I keep telling myself that's when "I'll really start planning." When things get real. When I actually have to start thinking about things concretely and not just abstractly. I have a bajillion inspiration photos and boards that I'll have to narrow down. Etcetera and so forth.

However, we all know I've been planning since the moment Scot and I got engaged. I always got mad at those fun little checklists in the wedding magazines because they only tell you what to do starting a year out from the wedding.. what about us cool folks who are engaged for over 2 years?? What are WE supposed to do?!

My solution was to plan as if I was getting married next month. It's amusing to me how much I got done in just the first two months of being engaged. Let's take a peek at what I have done already, a bit more than a year out from the wedding, shall we?

((For everyone's sake, I'll just go up to what should be done up to 6 months out.))

12 months
>Decide on a budget, and agree on who's going to pay for what. Done. Budget is higher than anticipated, but we are paying for everything. Minus the wedding dress (thanks mom!).
>Think about the big picture - the wedding's style, size, date, and site. Once we found the site, I had the style. And we had the date the night we got engaged. I might be slightly OCD.
>Mail save-the-date cards if you need them. Are you really supposed to do this a year out?? I actually need to get on this one.
>Reserve the ceremony and reception venues. DONE. Two years in advance, yo.
>Start looking at dresses in magazines and on websites. Well duh. I started and finished 18 months out.

10 months
>Start scouting for a caterer, florist, photographer, and DJ or band. Consider them scouted.
>Select your officiant. One thing I haven't done yet. I have ideas, but am nervous to ask!
>Choose your attendants. Again, did this the night I got engaged.. 26 months out. I didn't know you were supposed to 'formally' ask with cookies and cards and cute poems and all that. Oh well. They got a phone call and heard my lovely voice.
>Begin compiling the guest list. Pretty much done with this. We really just keep adding new friends we make.
>Hire a wedding planner, if needed. Psh. I'm my own wedding planner.

8 months
>Book the caterer, florist, photographer, and DJ or band; adjust your budget after getting estimates. Consider budget adjusted. Catering comes with the venue, got our photog 20 months out, DJ 24 months out. Just need those pesky flowers.
>Create a wedding website. Did this pretty much right away. Created about 5 through various sites then decided I'd make my own.
>Order your dress. Did this 18 months out. Wham bam thank you ma'am.

6 months
>Meet with vendors to plan details. Half and half.
>Register for gifts. Haven't yet but OMG I can't wait!
>Order the invitations, or start DIYing them. So our friend is making made them. I just need to get them printed and assembled.
>Shop for the bridesmaids' outfits. I've been looking online obsessively.. does that count?
>Order the wedding rings. Admittedly haven't done this yet but will probably in the next few months.
>Research and book the honeymoon. If we GO on a honeymoon. Don't get me started.
>Reserve and transportation you need. Staying at the venue. We like making life easy.

Checkity check!

So all in all.. we're kind of solid up to the 6 month mark, and have been since about the 18 month mark. Super awesome.

Who else is a super planner? And.. again.. am I really supposed to send my STD's (hah) out a year in advance?!

NO FEATHERS!

*Photo heavy post ahead!*

I wanted to share some cuteness and laughs from aforementioned niece-to-be. About a month and a half ago, I gave her a stack of wedding magazines to go through since she has been super excited about mine and Scot's upcoming wedding; seriously.. I think her excitement rivals my own (is that even possible?!). The instant one was put in front of her, she started flipping through pages and writing on every. single. item. about what she did and did not like (she eventually switched to post-its, but not that it mattered much to me!). They were returned a few weeks later by the future in-laws, chock full of tips and ideas and major fashion faux-pas'. I took pics of some of the cutest since all of them would take up, oh I don't know, a month worth of posting. If her plans for being President don't work out, she has MAJOR potential to be at least VP or... a wedding planner!

So here you go.. I've rewritten the captions bigger below the photo so they are easier to read.

Tips on wedding dresses:

"Just to let you know, about 30 pages into the book, I stopped writing 

NO FEATHERS! 'cause there were so many cases of feathers it was

too much. So, anytime you see feathers, IT'S A NO!"

((I'm a little sad about this because I like feather hair pieces!))

"Woah! Um, excuse me, where's the girl down there? But I

LOVE the top, the makeup, and the hair!"

((I agree, no poofiness down below!))

"I like the embellishments! The hair piece is very nice, and so are you!

So consider this one."

((Aw, I'm nice! And highly impressed with her vocab.))

Tips on ceremony and decor:

"This looks like an interesting thing to try, sleep on it, will ya?

But it might be too sappy."

((Sappy and super trendy, yes, but I love it just the same!))

"This is a nice outdoor setting, but I think it'll cost too much

on every table."

((I love that she realizes that things can be expensive - I don't know if I had that kind of wisdom at her age.))

"Ooh! Bamboo! That's interesting! If you're a massage therapist, 

it kinda fits you."

((And I am! And we were actually totally thinking of bamboo centerpieces and favors!))

"And we've reached eco-freakatopia!"

((Ok, so I'm guessing that's a no-go, heh.))

"I like this, too. And it'd be cool if it was a baiobab tree, or something

living. You could ask people to put shout-outs and keep it forever."

((I don't even know what a baiobab tree is, but it sounds AMAZING.))

"If you were to do this, make it a color matching your invitation, which you

place next to it. For time and day, put here and now! It'd be cute."

((I love this idea, especially the "Here and now!" part.))

Tips on favors:

"These are cool holders. Make sure they're big enough to hold his

guiness or guiny or whatever."

((She sure knows her uncle Scot and his love of Guinness!))

"Are you techy? Try these."

((I like to think so ;) ))

"OMG I LOVE DUCKS! Gimme gimme gimme."

"If you can get them cheap, make these favors, too."

((Note to self: Buy Syd some ducks!))

"Too cheesy, too beesy!"

((Oh no! You think we can make her like bees before she gets married?!))

Tips on parties and honeymoons:

(For a bachelor/bachelorette party)

"I would just do a simple pool day or mani-pedi's at my aunt's place:

Angelic Nail and Skin Care. For the guys, a simple night at the bar..

or the movies."

((Already promoting! See what I mean about an excellent planner?))

"I'm not sure you should go there.. it may seem fun but what happens

if you spend too much after the wedding..."

((So incredibly true! Again, with the wisdom!))

And.. some of my favorite.. tips on cake toppers:

"Like I said, Uncle Scot would so do that so think about it."

((Yes, yes he would. I love this one!))

"These are too cute.. are you a shopper? Or are you a tweeter?

That is the question."

((I am SO A TWEETER!))

"He's tall, you're slender, and you have red hair. Think about his hair color, though."

((I'm loving the flattery here!))

"He's only partially Irish.. I don't think Uncle Scot's even Scottish! IDTS."

((Heh, love the joke! Sorry babe, no kilt for you.))

((Oh, and she clarified for me that IDTS means I don't think so. Just FYI ;) ))

And there you have it. My 10yr old future wedding planner!!

I really, really like planning.

Which has led me to become obsessed with MindMeister.

When I first started following Weddingbee, I was stoked to find Mrs. Pencils, a fellow Maryland bride. I decided to go through most of her old posts to get ideas and information about weddings in the DC/MD area since quite frankly, I was still pretty clueless about a lot of things despite living in the area for over 2 years. During this process, I found a post where she mentioned MindMeister (you can read it here), an incredible map-it-out, list-type website. To which I now have everything related to the wedding mapped out on:

It is amazing because I tend to lose track of what we already decided on and what ideas I have and don't have; in a word, it's fantastic for scatter brains like myself. The best part, though? You can download an app to your phone that allows you to just type a word or idea in, and it will automatically update your map! Super convenient - even though I now have "organized" wedding things spread between MindMeister, my blog, my wedding binder, Pinterest, and my hard drive. Yep.

Do you have weddingy things spread between several different mediums? How do you stay organized?