Holidays, a countdown, and some more wedding porn

Apologies for the radio silence, hive! I have been enjoying lots of family, food, and relaxing this past week - I haven't had this much time to myself in ages. I was even able to read a bit and finish a book I started six months ago. Yes, it's been that long. But I digress - hello, again, and I hope you all had and are continuing to have fabulous holidays!

Our pussycat(s) does not seem to enjoy the holidays as much as I do.

So anyway, way back when I first started my little wedding blog (coughforthesolepurposeofWeddingbeecough), I had 732 days until the wedding. Seven hundred thirty two. It felt like it would never come; I dreamed of the day I could even say our wedding was next year, much less saying it's less than six months away. Because now? It is. And in a few short days, I can say our wedding is this year.

I have no idea how the moose that happened, but it did. We're under 180 days at this point, which only 80 away from 100, which is when shiz starts getting real. Miss Unicycle's post the other day made me wake up from my holiday cookie coma and realize that all that stuff I've been putting off? It should probably start be putting on. You know what I mean. So I am highly anticipating getting my tush in gear, getting more things figured out for the wedding, and blogging about it all. Win-win-win.

In the meantime, I wanted to share with you some pictures Foxy Mama recently emailed me. Since I already shared some images from her and my dad's wedding, and since I know you're all in search of more vintage wedding porn, here's a few images from my Grammy and Grampy's wedding from way back in 1949!

These images just make me happy - they are so classic!

For my fellow 6ish month out bees - have you gotten that little kick in the tush yet? Or would you rather gaze at pretty wedding porn, like I clearly do?

Friendors

Shockingly, Urban Dictionary does not have a definition for this yet. My personal, barebones description would be: a friend who is also a vendor for an event (like.. a wedding); aka, a friend with some form of mad skillz that you just must make use of.

There's lots of information and article's on using friendors for your wedding - heck, just look here on the 'Bee: Mrs. Ostrich, Mrs. Sloth, and Mrs. Argyle (to name a few) all wrote fairly recent posts about the matter. As with anything, though, there are general pros and cons of using said friendors. Having a friend as a vendor allows you to include some friends in significant ways for your wedding, it can give you a better understanding of certain aspects of vendors, and it can even result in a reduced rate for said vendor. On the other hand, you may have a friendor who now can't enjoy your wedding because they are too busy working, confrontation may escalate quicker than normal, or you don't feel comfortable being completely honest with them since you don't want to hurt their feelings. It's definitely a fine line - hiring a friendor takes a lot of trust and a lot of commitment.

So far, Foxy and I have hired 4.. count 'em, 4!.. friendors. Here's the list:

1. Invitation designer

The very first thing I started thinking about after we got engaged was the invitation suite (what, that's not normal?). I was convinced I would design and assemble the whole thing myself - easy peasy, right?. Well, I started to design it and hated everything. Fortunately, my good friend Michelle emailed me not long after and mentioned that she would be willing to design our invite suite at a sweet discounted rate, because, duh, she's a graphic designer. I really have no idea how I forgot this, but I jumped on the deal and Michelle whipped something up in no time. In the end, we only had her design an invitation and RSVP card, as her business started picking up and had many other (full paying) clients to tend to. Foxy and I were a-ok with this - we just adore the look and feel of our invites. I'd say friendor #1 has already been a success!

2. Officiant

I wrote about this just the other day, but our friend E will be officiating the ceremony. We're thrilled at this, as we just know she will make the ceremony personal and work with us on getting all the details just right. She and I have yet to sit down and really discuss all things ceremony related, but I have high hopes!

3. Hair Stylist

So get this.. the hair stylist for myself and the girls is actually Officiant E's sister-in-law, and she was hired before E was! I met Brianna about a year ago now, and we connected quickly over our mutual upcoming weddings and her fabulous stylist skills. A few months and several Facebook messages later, she was booked! I've heard and read wonderful things about her work from E and others, and very much look forward to working with her. I kind of want my hair trial NOW. But word on the street is that 6 months out is a bit too early. Oh well.

4. Makeup Artist

This is the most recent friendor addition, and I couldn't be more thrilled. Remember my wedding twin, M? She's always been fabulous making herself up and has a mighty impressive makeup collection. We had a phone date not too long ago, chatting about details of our respective upcoming weddings, when the issue of hair and makeup costs came up. When I mentioned my conundrum (which would be lack of funds to afford one, and wanting one to come to our venue rather than me going to them), she mentioned that she had wanted to ask me if I wanted her to do my makeup for the wedding, as well as that for the rest of the bridal party. I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing.. one of my bridesladies, completely willing to donate time to pretty up the party. Of course I said yes on the spot - how could I not?? I'm going to owe her big time, and I couldn't be more thankful for it!

That's about it (for now).. although you could add another 5 on there if we indeed do the Flip Wedding and have friends film everything for us. Ohh, friendors. Love you.

I'm hoping to ultimately do another friendor post once the wedding is over to recap how everything went - here's hoping all goes well!

Are you hiring any friendors? Or, if you already did, how did it pan out?

Our officant: from none to 1 (to another one)

A while back, I mentioned how our initial choice in officiant, Pastor Tom, didn't work out because he already had another wedding scheduled. He was an ideal choice for several reasons - I've known him and his family since I was a baby, he's a Lutheran pastor, he has a great sense of humor, he did my mom's wedding last year, etc - but alas, it was not meant to be.

I briefly panicked until my mom mentioned that her lifelong friend, Pastor Liz, could be another viable officiant candidate. While I don't know her nearly as well as Pastor Tom, I was open to asking her to do our ceremony - at the time, having a pastor (who was willing to go light on or completely forgo the God speak) was important to me. Well, I thought it was. There was definitely a bit of fuzz between what I wanted and what I thought I wanted because of what I thought my parents wanted. Figure that one out, Sherlock.

So Pastor Liz and I emailed back and forth a bunch, she said she would be open to officiating the ceremony, and we even had a phone call (while Foxy was at work) that kick-started my mind to think about what I/we truly wanted our ceremony to be and what it would ultimately entail. While this was all very helpful and seemed to fit all my previous requirements, something still didn't feel right. I thought I wanted a pastor, but.. maybe I didn't? Maybe a Justice of the Peace would be just fine.. better, even.

To save you time (and because I like lists), here's.. a list.

Pros (of using Pastor Liz):

She's a pastor, something I thought I wanted.

She was willing to work with us on creating a ceremony that was perfect for us, while still maintaining spiritual integrity for her.

She knows me (albeit not all that well.. but still).

I loved the job she did presiding over my mom's wedding last year.

Cons (same category):

...maybe I don't really want a pastor.

She lives in NY, and wanted us to travel up several times to meet with her in person (which is incredibly hard for us to do because of varying work schedules).

The cost kept creeping up.. between her fee, plus her travel, plus her hotel.. it adds up fast.

Foxy has since expressed his discomfort with any God speak in the ceremony. Ok with me, likely not for Pastor Liz.

A lot of these thoughts had been circling in my head for the past few weeks. Conveniently enough, I ended up having a heart to heart phone conversation with my mom the other day, where she randomly "put out there" that it's ok if Foxy and I decide not to use Pastor Liz, even if we've already started talking with her. Honestly..? I didn't realize that. Just hearing her say that sent a wave of relief over my body and mind that I didn't know I needed. At that moment, I knew what I wanted. And it wasn't Pastor Liz.

I relayed all this information to Foxy, we chatted about it for a bit, then decided we would cancel with Pastor Liz (cancel sounds way better than "fire", don't you think?), especially since we had someone in mind to fill in. Not quite a Justice of the Peace, but definitely someone certified in marrying couples. You may recognize her.

That would be miss EAQ219 (no, not our crazy pup.. although that would be awesome)! Miss E and her hubs have become super great friends of Foxy and I, and seeing that she is already in the wedding biz and has some experience in marrying couples.. well, we couldn't think of someone better to ask. She knows both of us, she's sassy and can be a bossyboots if need be (think: rehearsal), she has a spunky sense of humor, and the list goes on. Once we asked her to officiate (and heard her ultimate YES), I had a huge sense of.. well, I'm not sure. Happiness? Relief? Sudden urge to plan my entire ceremony right.this.instant because I was so excited? You get the idea.

So no, E isn't a pastor, but apparently these past few months have brought about a change of mind in terms of what we (I) value in our officiant. And while we aren't using Pastor Liz anymore, she definitely got the ball rolling. I started thinking about my ceremony vision and realized that it would both mean more and be more appropriate if we had a friend do it. And so it shall be!

Did you have any officiant "drama" leading up to the wedding? How did you ultimately decide who to have officiate?

How I pimped out my wedding shoes

The shoe saga has come to an end, dear hive. Way back when I went in for my first dress fitting, I brought along three pairs of shoes with me:

rsvp Lovely | Pour la Victoire Cristella 2 | rsvp Jaceline

Images via Zappos

I figured I would try each pair with the dress, and would hopefully "just know" if one of them was the right pair. Lucky for me this strategy worked, as I did indeed have my very own magical Cinderella shoe moment. I tried on all three, and one just.. matched. It was a far more perfect pairing than I would have imagined.

Ready for the reveal? Drumroll please....

..the Jaceline's totally nailed it! I was iffy on the color at first, but once I saw them with the dress, I had no question in my mind. The other two pairs, while sassy as heck, just didn't "go". Done and done!

Well.. sort of. You should know it wouldn't be that easy by now.

I was perusing Pinterest the other day and came across this photo:

Image via I Am Never Naked

Those are DIY glitter soles, by the way. Um, hello.. this is pure genius. So I did it.

So very, very blingtastic. I'm kind of in love.

Here's the process:

1. Assemble "ingredients".

If you couldn't tell, I love all things Martha Stewart.  Also, you don't need anywhere near as much stuff as I have.. all I used were a sponge brush, the big bottle of turquoise glitter (center), and the bottle of decoupage glue and sealant (right). You can also use just regular ol' tacky glue.

2. Mix glue and glitter.

3. Start painting the sole of the shoe with the sponge brush! (You may also want to use painters tape or masking tape around the edges of the shoe to prevent any accidents.. I didn't do this because it was too much work. And I'm lazy. And like to live on the edge.)

This is how the glue/glitter combo will look when you first paint it on with the sponge brush. After you do part (or all) of the sole, you just sprinkle loose glitter on it until the sole is covered.

4. Touch up

You can see how in the photo above, there are some spots on the sole near the edges that are missing glitter.. it's hard to get the sparkles all over while still keeping the glue in a restricted area and not onto the shoe itself. I went in with a small paintbrush dipped in the glue/glitter combo and touched up the sides after the soles had pretty much dried.

5. Top coat

After the sparkles were dry - and since I used a clear sealant - I brushed a topcoat of sealant on the entire sole. I definitely recommend this step.. it will prevent you from leaving a trail of glitter everywhere you walk (although I kind of think that would be awesome).

Then.. tada!! Sparkly, pimped out soles!!

Would you dare DIY part of your wedding shoes? I have to tell you, I'm still surprised I didn't manage to somehow mess these up (yet)!

Why we're NOT hiring a videographer

Yes, it's true. The Foxy wedding will be sans videographer and sans lust-worthy highlight reels as such:

Meredith and Tommy from Monachetti on Vimeo.

::sigh:: My ultimate lust.

In all honesty, this decision has been a long battle and a big concession on my part. From the instant we got engaged and started planning a wedding, I always just assumed we would have a videographer.. I just saw it as another staple that you book: venue, flowers, officiant, photographer, videographer, etc. So I started researching local vendors for work samples and pricing, and quickly realized that it would be a huge stretch on our budget if we were to get a videographer. As is often the case, the companies and styles I love are too expensive, and the ones I can possibly afford, I very much dislike. When I finally mentioned all of this to Foxy, his eyes got all buggy and.. hive? He didn't even really know that people got videographers for weddings. Really.

So I freaked, wrote a little post on the boards on how dense he must be, realized that it's apparently not as common as I thought (or, more appropriately, while a lot of people do have a videographer, a lot still don't). This may not be shocking to you, but it was definitely news to me (I blame it on my NY roots!). And so, after 20 months of researching, wiggling the budget, saving, un-saving, more research, and extra work hours.. we're not having a videographer. Here's the reasons:

1. Money

This is a given, but it needs to be said. We simply don't have the budget for one, no matter how you look at it. The overall cost of our wedding is already 2-3k higher than we anticipated it being, and to add another 2k+ to that for video is simply unfeasible. There was a point about two or three months ago where I thought I found a videographer for a decent price (based out of south Pennsylvania & willing to travel); Foxy saw how enthusiastic I was about it and decided (on his own) to work extra overnight shifts one week to help come up with some of the money so we could hopefully afford it. To say this put a strain on our relationship is putting it lightly - I basically didn't see or talk to him for an entire week. We just got our pup the week before, the house was a mess, I was incredibly busy with work.. it just didn't work for us. We're definitely a couple that thrives on quality time with each other, and the whole "passing each other in the night" thing doesn't allow for that.

Furthermore, I'm thinking the reason the PA videographer may be so affordable is because he is just terrible at returning emails or calls. Each email took at least 3 weeks to return; anyone in the wedding world (or with my lack of patience) can tell you that's not good. So I nixed him, and with that, most dreams of having a videographer that we could afford.

2. I have super awesome friends

There was a night about a month ago where I was expressing my videographer conundrum with some girlfriends, one who got married a year and a half ago, and another who is getting married a few weeks before Foxy and I. You know what? Both were incredibly set in their respective decisions to forgo a videographer. They brought up several good points:

a. we have an amazing photographer who, if she's as good as she seems to be, should be able to recap the entire day in beautiful pictures;
b. in this day and age of social media, pretty much everyone has some sort of video recording device (namely, a phone), and will likely tape some part of the wedding (especially if we ask them to);
c. I really just want certain parts (ceremony, toasts, first dance) recorded and, as mentioned, it should be easy enough to ask someone to do so on their phone or a provided video camera.

Hearing all this reinforced the idea that our wedding will (or should) be well documented and there will likely be no shortage of pictures or video for me to enjoy after the wedding!

3. My Flip Wedding

I originally heard of this through one of the wedding blogs I follow, and I was amazed by its pure geniusness (yes, it's a word). It's basically a service where you can rent Flip video cameras to be used by friends or family and later have Storymix edit various clips taken throughout the wedding day (or weekend!) into your very own highlight reel. The great thing is, after the wedding is done and you upload your videos online, YOU get to choose the content of the video - the clips, the transitions, the titles, the music, etc. Plus, you still get to hang on to all the original content after the edited video is created, so you will still have access to every moment captured.

Image via 1888Stylist

One of my favorite aspects is how customizable the service is - you can rent 1, 3, or 5 cameras and choose from a slew of other options. Prices start as low as $99 (hello, affordable!), and you can even take one of the cameras on your honeymoon in case you want to include any of that in your film as well (preferably not a la Kim K). The more I read into this option, the more I'm loving it - not only would we (hopefully) get the key moments on film, but likely a lot of random, candid shots that would just make it so much better. It's basic, but it's definitely a viable option.

4. I'll live.

While a professional videographer would be the bee's knees (pun totally intended), it's totally ok that we won't have one. I mean, if you have a couple thousand to burn and love us a whole bunch, I will surely take your money and hire someone. However, in the event that no one is willing to host a bake sale to fund a videographer.. I'll live. Happily ever after with Foxy, I might add.

So there you have it. Why we are NOT hiring a videographer. And why we ARE ok with it!!

Anyone else opt against a videographer (or other aspect that you originally thought you'd have)? Why?

Tablescapes

I know talking about centerpieces and table type things isn't the most exciting thing in the world, but it's definitely one of those little details that help make the general feel of a wedding come together in the end.

Now, I'm not one for big centerpieces. I still ooh and aah over them in pictures and at other people's weddings, but they just aren't my cup of tea, nor would they really look right at our wedding.

Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by IN Photography

Image via Project Wedding | Photo by Skye Blu Photography

Besides, we're only planning on having 4 large round tables and a smattering of tall cocktail tables. Those tall pieces just would. not. work. Enter: the ever popular and ever gorgeous blue mason jar with assorted flowers.

Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by Robert Sukrachand

Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by Pen/Carlson

Image via Lovely Little Details

The plan is to use the blue ones (in my mind, they are actually turquoise - hellooo, wedding color!) on the big rounds - I'm thinking one larger jar with two smaller ones.

I know my Photoshop skills leave something to be desired. E for effort.

In an effort to keep (flower) costs at a minimum, we won't be using the mason jars on the cocktail tables. Aside from upping the price, I'm pretty sure that a floral arrangement would also end up occupying most of the cocktail table space, thus defeating the purpose of the table in the first place. I have been racking my brain for weeks trying to think of something we could put on the tall tables in lieu of flowers; something small, simple, and hopefully turquoise in nature. Several trips to my new favorite store and second home later (that would be Michaels), I walked away with ten candle votives and a big bag of flat glass marbles. The result?

The flowers are fake for the time being, but I fully intend on getting some real small white blooms and sticking one in each votive with a bit of water, with one votive going on each cocktail table. The best part is that the grand total for these little guys is only around $2 a pop ($1 for the votive, ~ $.50 each for the divided marbles and flowers). I couldn't find an adequate picture of a tall cocktail table to Photoshop, so you'll have to use your imaginations for these.

All in all, I'm rather pleased with the tablescape vision going on in my head and on my Pinterest boards right now; my best description would be simple, rustic, light, and romantic. Yet to be determined is if this can be an entirely DIY project or if we'll need to enlist the florist for the large round table "centerpieces".

Do you have a preference of tall vs. short centerpieces? Did you DIY any part of your centerpieces?

In the language of love, I'm bilingual.

I realize that title can have approximately 27 meanings, but here's the one I'm talking about:

Foxy and I have made the decision to go to a combo of premarital & couples counseling. The former for obvious reasons, and the latter because of certain issues and differences that we feel we need to work on - namely, communication. The best and worst thing about the two of us is that we are so different, yet so similar, especially when it comes to our stubbornness. Throw in a minor disagreement, and you can potentially have the recipe for disaster (or just a really big blowout for no real reason). Hence, couples counseling.

We had our first session this past Monday, and while I went in nervous, I left with an overwhelming feeling of hopefulness and anticipation. Part of that excitement, if you will, came from our first "homework assignment" - to buy, read, and implement strategies from the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Image via The 5 Love Languages

Have you heard of this book? It's been on my "must buy/read" list for a few years now, as I've had many a (bloggy) friend rave about and review it. We're only about halfway through the book, but I can already tell you that Dr. Chapman knows his shiz. His theory (I prefer to call it fact) is that there are five basic languages of love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Within each specific language are various dialects - in other words, different ways that each can be conveyed and construed. The idea is that you and your partner likely "speak in different love languages", or, to put it more plainly, what makes one person feel loved and valued can be very different from what makes the other feel loved and valued (like a little love note vs making dinner, or a surprise gift vs carving out time to watch a movie). A short profile at the end of the book helps you determine your language(s), and you can delve into the respective chapters to learn more about both yourself and your partner.

Call me an optimist, but I just knew this book would be spot-on before we even opened it. I already had an instinct that Foxy and I had different ideas of how to show, heck, even feel, love. My profile determined me to need both Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service equally (who knew I was bilingual?!); his revealed that he needs Acts of Service and Physical Touch. While we both share the Acts of Service need, we still vary greatly with the other two categories. An example: I feel most loved when he tells me I look good or that he missed me after a night we spent apart, but it doesn't mean much if I say the same to him. In contrast, he feels much more loved when I'm the "big spoon" when we're cuddling because of the close contact.

Of course, the nerd in me finds these differences in feeling and showing love all incredibly fascinating. And, as I mentioned, we're just starting this journey and this is only part of the process, but it's already opened up more conversations between the two of us and already has us communicating better. If I can better understand what makes my partner happy and he, me.. well, our love can only grow and deepen and, most importantly.. last.

Tell me, does any of this ring true with you and your partner? Have you heard of The 5 Love Languages and do you have any experience/insight/advice about it?

My Swiss Army Romance

I've already yapped about my undying love for Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional fame. For 10 years now, I've been a sucker for his soulful crooning (at least that's what I've dubbed it) and incredibly emo lyrics. He was the soundtrack of my life way back when. Plus, for all those horribly depressing songs, he has a handful of lovey dovey goodness that I just can't get enough of. He may or may not also be #1 on my freebie list. (Hence Foxy's Facebook status of "Dashboard confessional show with Miss Fox to make sure she doesn't go home with the lead singer guy".)

personal photo

So of course I was ants-in-my-pants excited this past Saturday night when I got to see him in concert for the second (possibly third?) time in my life. Yes, I sang my heart out and no, I couldn't really talk properly the next day. The best moment was an acoustic version of "Stolen" - a song that, if there was a decent acoustic recording of, very well could be our first dance song. Alas, there is not. (Or there might be, but since I tend to live under a rock, I would much appreciate some 411 if there is a magical acoustic version out there.)

This all comes back around to my love of Mr. Carrabba and wanting to have something by him included in the wedding somewhere. I've mentioned two possibilities so far ("Stolen" & "Even Now"), but ultimately, Foxy had other songs in mind for our first dance song.

And then I realized that Dashboard released a single of "Hands Down" in the UK that had a B-track (am I dating myself there?) called "I do". A little YouTube search, an Amazon purchase, and five days later, I had that imported CD in my emo-tastic hands (as the song is not for sale on iTunes).

 

And the lyrics, in case you feel like having a sing-a-long:

Oh love, hang on, I've gotta say this right
'Cause I only get one shot, once in my life
'Cause I want to grow old with you
And I want you to hold me forever

Do you think that you love me? 'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want that forever? 'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want me to share your life with you?
I do, I do, I do

Oh love, hang on, if you're willing, I'll be strong
And I'll give you the life that you deserve
'Cause I want you to know all of me
And I, I want to hold you forever

Do you think that you love me? 'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want that forever? 'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want me to brave this world for you?
I do, I do, I do

I have to tell you, one listen and read-through of the lyrics and I was hooked. After some thought and deliberation, Foxy and I decided that this song would be much more appropriate as a ceremony song. Our hope is to have it played sometime around the vows, or possibly between any readings that we may use. And, since Mr. Carrabba is likely too busy on our wedding date (or too cool being famous, whatever), we'll be having my stepdad and stepbrother playing and singing, as opposed to a recording. It's definitely one of the most anticipated moments of the day for me, now. Dashboard + live acoustic version + wedding = one happy Fox.

Did you have a meaningful band or song that you really wanted to include in your wedding day somehow? Where were you able to fit it?