On Having 2 Maids of Honor

I've been meaning to write this post for months now, but I knew it would likely take a lot of time and thought. And I've kind of had a shortage of time and not a lot of functioning brain cells as of late. Working full time, part time, and planning a wedding is no joke, yo!

Anyway.. yes. I have two maids of honor. This wasn't my intention at the beginning - I knew I would likely need to choose between bestie Blondie and bestie Copper.

Both of these ladies are people that I hold extremely near and dear to my heart. Copper and I met on the middle school dance team, so we go way back. Come high school, we became nearly inseparable. As for Blondie, she and I met freshman year of college thanks to being in the same level ballet class. Even though she is more of a "recent" friend in comparison to Copper, her and I quickly became best friends, and it's stayed that way for the past 8 years or so.

I think my story is similar to a lot of people's - you have a best friend from high school or from home, but then you leave for college or a job or whatever. You find yourself occasionally losing touch with those friends from home, and you make new friends. You grow, you mature, you change.. it's a natural part of life.

While Copper and I tend to go through phases where we won't talk to each other for a long time, we have the kind of friendship where we can just pick up right where we left off weeks, months, years ago. What helps is that - despite where we are in life or what we're doing at the time - at the core, we're extremely similar. Our personalities both mesh well yet also compliment each other.

We also share a mutual love for Mr. Potter.

I've also noticed that, as the wedding gets closer, I grow more and more nostalgic about mine and Copper's friendship. We've been talking and seeing each other more over these past few months, and it makes me absolutely hate the fact that she's several states and several hours away. This girl is going to be in my life for a long, long time - of that I'm sure - but I hate that it has to be so long-distance and occasionally sporadic. She's totes my bffaetddup to the max. (Anyone? No? Just us?)

On the other hand, there's Blondie and I. While the two of us have our differences in personalities and opinions, we just seem to work. I can't even put my finger on it - we may not agree on everything, but when we're together, we always have fun. My best analogy is that she's almost like the sister I never had. She's one of my best dancer friends (and let's be real, us dancers can have some weird thought processes sometimes) and she just kind of gets me. Even after college and with two states between us, we still keep in touch fairly regularly.

Yep. We've perfected the duck face. Don't hate.

Either way, when Foxy and I got engaged, it all came down to the fact that I love both of these ladies incredible amounts, and I'm a terrible decision maker. That, and I really didn't want to have to choose.

And so, twenty six months ago, I asked both Blondie and Copper to be my maid of honors. I'll be honest - two years out is a long time to ask that of someone. There have been times when I haven't kept in touch with either one, when there was some possible tension between all parties involved, etcetera and so forth. There have been questions posed, like who will ultimately stand next to me when we get married? Will both give a toast, or just one? Who's going to spend the night before the wedding with me, and listen to me squeal/cry/stress/get excited? All of which we have found answers to, but not without with a bit of thought involved. It can get a bit tricky, but for me, it's worth it in the end.

And as the day gets closer and closer, I grow more confident in my decision to have both of them stand by my side on mine and Foxy's wedding day. Could I have chosen just one? Maybe. Could I have just scraped the idea and had no maid of honor whatsoever? Sure. But both Copper and Blondie have had such impacts on my life - I honestly wouldn't be who I am today without them there. It's only natural that they both have a special place in both my heart and in the wedding party.

What about you? Did you have more than one maid of honor, or none at all? Was the process of choosing someone difficult for you?

'Tis the Season

Foxy and I had been approaching the months of May and June with a bit of caution. Going in, we knew that once Memorial Day rolled around, it would be a marathon of sorts. We would have brideslady M's wedding (that I was in), then our friend Edie's wedding a week later, then a full 7 days of nonstop work, then our wedding. Holy moose!

Well, the first two have happened, we're currently in the middle of work overload, and our wedding is merely days away. Conclusion? It's crunch time. But as I sort of mentioned the other day, I'm feeling oddly good about everything.. and I have my lovely friends weddings to thank for some of that!

First off, being a part of brideslady M's wedding and attending Edie's made me realize how wonderfully, uniquely them they each were. As a result, it also made me realize how beautifully, perfectly us ours will be! Sure, it may be a bit different, a bit light-hearted, a bit more casual than what some people may be expecting, but it's going to be ours. And you can't ask for more than that!

Now as for brideslady M, I know that she spent just as long planning out each and every detail of her wedding as I have, and it was truly a labor of love.

She looked gorgeous, the venue looked gorgeous, and all the details reflected her personality and her peacock theme perfectly.

The funny part was that, for as incredibly put together she is and how immaculately she plans.. we had a lot of stuff to do in the 12 hours before the wedding! Word on the street is that hey, it happens. You plan to have all this stuff done, but it inevitably somehow still needs to be done the week, eve, or even day of the wedding. But M is an amazing person with equally amazing friends (what whaaaat!), and we got it all done, from the card box...

I'm not very attractive at 1am.

...to the place card set up...

...to the table votives...

...to the flowers that she picked and arranged herself...

((Not a complete arrangement.. just components!))

...to the cupcakes that needed to be completely redone, then boxed up...

Poor cupcakes!! The heat got to them!!

Much better.

...to her sash that she completely decorated and sewed by hand...

It was GORGEOUS, btw.

...to the programs that were finished the morning of the wedding. Phew!!

But you know what?? It all came together. And it was fabulous. And if she/we could get it all done, well then I sure as hell can get (what I hope is) less than that done in the upcoming days before mine and Foxy's wedding!

With a little help from my good friend champagne, of course.

As for Edie's wedding.. well, I know she went through a couple of situations that were not exactly ideal. Like how her photographer - with whom she signed a contract and already paid for - basically told her that they weren't going to come to her wedding a mere week out. Or how her husband travels for work, often with little to no notice, and she had to plan a lot of the wedding on her own. Or how there were flash floods and tornado warnings on the day of her wedding.

But.. once again, you know what?? It all worked out. She found a new, amazing photographer with just a few days to go. She found a wonderful wedding designer to help her with the planning. The rain magically held out until just after the outdoor ceremony was over.

She looked beautiful, she handled everything with ease, she dealt with everything that came her way. And if she can stay poised and calm with so much chaos going on around her, I'm extremely hopeful that I can take it all in with the same amount of stride!

Aside from all the little lessons learned in these past few weeks, I've also absolutely loved going to all these weddings. It's getting me so, so, so excited for our own, and I've noticed that I all of a sudden just care so much more. About the details, about the ceremony wording, about the way the groom looks when his bride walks down the aisle, about the guest book.. all those things that you may not always notice if you're not hot on the heels of your wedding day. It's a fun place to be, actually!

Cheers!

Did you have any weddings to attend or be a part of just before or after your own? Did you find you were more perceptive to everything?

Be gone, drama llama

One thing I've learned from my time planning a wedding thus far is that no matter how far in advance you plan, things still come up that will stress you out and throw you for a spin.

In an extended effort to keep things real and not just give you all fluff (as wonderful as said fluff may be), I have to briefly delve into a recent stressy and unfortunate situation.

Part of the reason I waited so long to even write a tidbit about my bridesladies is because I wasn't sure if the original five I asked to be in the wedding.. would actually end up being in the wedding. Friendships naturally go through their ups and downs, some people grow apart and some grow closer - and all this absolutely holds true when your engagement is over 2 years long and you have your party set from day one.

I won't go into details because it's really not necessary, but one of my original 5 is no longer in the wedding party. Things are still fine between us - there was a short guest appearance from the drama llama, who was sent on his merry little way rather quickly - and at the end of the day after all other situations, my one friend ultimately had to decline from remaining in the wedding due to possible travel and school plans in the future.

I'm not going to lie - I was and still am really bummed by the whole thing. True, we aren't as close as we were 16 months ago, but we're definitely still able to pick up right where we left off every time we see each other. She was one of the first friends I made when I moved to the DC area and I still extremely value her friendship and consider her one of my best. The thing I hate most, though, is that she may not be able to make it to the wedding at all. It's sad, it's hard.. but it's life.

The silver lining to this whole ordeal is that over the past 16 months, I've actually gotten much, much closer with another friend. We went to massage school together for a few months before she had to leave for personal reasons, and we were pretty close at one point; we drifted apart, however, when we weren't seeing each other in and out of class every other day, as can be natural with frienships.

I can't put my finger on what changed, exactly - more free time? different personal situations? - but I now consider this girl one of the few genuinely honest, beautiful, and best friends in my life. We went to Mexico together a few months ago and have tentative plans to do so again in the next few months. We see each other at least once a week now and talk in between those times - she's become like a sister to me these past few months. And so, it was only natural to ask her to "fill in" for my now absent brideslady.

It worked out quite well, because I started to really wish I already had her in the bridal party from the get go; not to replace anybody, but just to be in it. I'm not one to care about uneven bridesladies and groomsmen, but 6 people standing next to me just felt like too many people. We're not planning on having that big of a wedding, and wouldn't you know that it would end up looking like more people were standing up with us than sitting down! Initially I was going to have her sing during the ceremony or help out in another significant way, but this kind of solves that "problem".

Oh the tangled webs we weave when friendships and weddings blend (or clash, as the case may be). I'm doing my best to just go with the flow and let things happen, as life has a funny way of working itself out.. see above.

What snags or change in plans have you come across in your own wedding planning? Any bridal party switcheroos?

My ladies

Oh how I hate the word "bridesmaids". I mean.. maid?? Really? I prefer brideslady. So brideslady it is!

(I know that's really not much better, but I call all my lovely friends "lady", so it makes sense in my mind.)

I realize that I haven't written much.. or anything.. about said bridesladies yet, even though I have been looking for their dresses since about a month into our engagement. I also chose and asked all my ladies to be in the wedding the very night I got engaged.

Lesson number 23 in wedding planning: if you have a 26 month engagement, do not pick out your bridesladies the night you get engaged. (I very much love all my ladies, but more on this at another time.)


Back to what's at hand: brideslady dresses! From the start, I knew I wanted them some shade of turquoise and some version of chiffon fabric.

Thank you, DB, for your super fun dress your wedding feature.

Just through the dress simulator, I quickly realized that I wasn't really a fan of the matchy-matchy thing.

Love everything about this.

Image via Green Wedding Shoes | Photo by Ashley Rose Photography

Image via The Bride's Cafe | Image by Jill Thomas Photography

I'm definitely leaning more towards a mismatched but matching look for the ladies, but I'm admittedly worried that different colors won't end up being as cohesive as these pictures and as I see it in my mind.

via Dessy Styleboard

The next best option would be to have the girls all wear the same color and fabric, but in a style of their choosing.

I also love the mismatching shoes.

Image via The Bride's Cafe | Image by Jill Thomas Photography

Dessy styleboard again

Right now, I'm leaning towards same color and fabric, different styles and different shoes.

Ughh, silly decisions! I feel like it should be easier to pick out the brideslady getup than my own wedding day ensemble, but that is clearly not the case.

What are your thoughts? What did you/will you do for your ladies on your big day?